I just cut for the first time in over a year. I feel awful about it. But it felt so good. It makes me so aware that I am only a body and this body is the only thing making me conscious. It freaks me out and angers me in a way that feels so beautiful to express it in the form of harming my body. I don’t know. I’m really upset. I just want to sleep and wake up happy tomorrow. I have so much work to do that I put off to write stupid poetry, cry, and cut myself. Like the pathetic fuck I am. God damn it. This isn’t me. I’m not like this. I am a happy optimistic productive being who loves life.

Who is this person taking over?

I just cut for the first time in over a year. I feel awful about it. But it felt so good. It makes me so aware that I am only a body and this body is the only thing making me conscious. It freaks me out and angers me in a way that feels so beautiful to express it in the form of harming my body. I don’t know. I’m really upset. I just want to sleep and wake up happy tomorrow. I have so much work to do that I put off to write stupid poetry, cry, and cut myself. Like the pathetic fuck I am. God damn it. This isn’t me. I’m not like this. I am a happy optimistic productive being who loves life.

Who is this person taking over?

swirlsofclouds:

Some days are like being burned alive, like being trapped in the fire and screaming for help, but no one can come rescue you, so all you do is cry and cry as you turn to ash.

This is really beautiful <3

swirlsofclouds:

Some days are like being burned alive, like being trapped in the fire and screaming for help, but no one can come rescue you, so all you do is cry and cry as you turn to ash.

This is really beautiful <3

This reminds me of the types of crazy images my brain comes up with when I try to go to sleep. They scare the shit out of me. Another symptom of my future permanent insanity. This paranoid creepy crazy mind will just destroy itself one day. And with it will go all of my potential.

This reminds me of the types of crazy images my brain comes up with when I try to go to sleep. They scare the shit out of me. Another symptom of my future permanent insanity. This paranoid creepy crazy mind will just destroy itself one day. And with it will go all of my potential.

This really reminds me of this constant fear that I have. That evil demons could get me. Because of this weird seizure I had, it makes me feel like I could become possessed or that they could take me away. I&#8217;ve had awful nightmares about it. Nightmares where they get me, chase me. Where I&#8217;ve made a promise to the devil and then break it. Nightmares where I accidentally break the universe with something I thought that I wasn&#8217;t suppose to think. (In that seizure I thought kept repeating at one point, &#8220;you&#8217;re human, you aren&#8217;t suppose to this about that) Its a single thought that just ends everything, but not in a good way. Everything stops. Or all the good stops. The bad takes over. The horrible unknown takes over. It is a real fear that I have. I think the wrong word or I realize what reality really is in a way you aren&#8217;t suppose to, and it all just breaks.
Sometimes this fear is so great and my imagination takes over so much, that I am afraid one day my imagination will take me over completely and I will go too insane to come back from it.

This really reminds me of this constant fear that I have. That evil demons could get me. Because of this weird seizure I had, it makes me feel like I could become possessed or that they could take me away. I’ve had awful nightmares about it. Nightmares where they get me, chase me. Where I’ve made a promise to the devil and then break it. Nightmares where I accidentally break the universe with something I thought that I wasn’t suppose to think. (In that seizure I thought kept repeating at one point, “you’re human, you aren’t suppose to this about that) Its a single thought that just ends everything, but not in a good way. Everything stops. Or all the good stops. The bad takes over. The horrible unknown takes over. It is a real fear that I have. I think the wrong word or I realize what reality really is in a way you aren’t suppose to, and it all just breaks.

Sometimes this fear is so great and my imagination takes over so much, that I am afraid one day my imagination will take me over completely and I will go too insane to come back from it.

I had a dream where I was fighting with a snake, then I started to fly upwards. Then I went so far up that I was beyond the universe, and I was holding the universe in my hand. I was so scared. I didn&#8217;t know what to do with it. I as too scared to fall back into it. And then this image flashed, where the earth turned the opposite direction, stopped, stared the sun in the eyes, and then became one with the sun.
This image reminded me of that dream.

I had a dream where I was fighting with a snake, then I started to fly upwards. Then I went so far up that I was beyond the universe, and I was holding the universe in my hand. I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do with it. I as too scared to fall back into it. And then this image flashed, where the earth turned the opposite direction, stopped, stared the sun in the eyes, and then became one with the sun.

This image reminded me of that dream.

20 strangers were asked to kiss for the first time.

There is something really beautiful about this. A kiss brings two people together very intimately, and seeing two people who just met share something like that is simply beautiful.

Everyone is always grabbing at us, trying to morph who we are. Is there really a way to fight it?

Everyone is always grabbing at us, trying to morph who we are. Is there really a way to fight it?

Never forget how much our thoughts and perception actually change reality itself. We have so much control.

Never forget how much our thoughts and perception actually change reality itself. We have so much control.

Something we should all remember. 
There is no absolute truth, but there is truth in everything &lt;3

Something we should all remember. 

There is no absolute truth, but there is truth in everything <3

It always really bothers me when people say someone is &#8220;so bipolar&#8221; for being moody. That is not what bipolar means. That is why it is so hard for me to tell someone I have bipolar disorder because I&#8217;m so afraid they will think I must have a lot of mood swings. 

It always really bothers me when people say someone is “so bipolar” for being moody. That is not what bipolar means. That is why it is so hard for me to tell someone I have bipolar disorder because I’m so afraid they will think I must have a lot of mood swings. 

I know I&#8217;m &#8220;really&#8221; here, but at the same time, I really am nothing more than a figment of reality&#8217;s imagination. Which is just a figment of my own imagination. Which I explained in my previous post. I&#8217;m kind of having a mild existential crisis. Luckily it is mild and I am handling it okay. 

I know I’m “really” here, but at the same time, I really am nothing more than a figment of reality’s imagination. Which is just a figment of my own imagination. Which I explained in my previous post. I’m kind of having a mild existential crisis. Luckily it is mild and I am handling it okay.